It's Straight Up Jumanji In Ohio

Foxnews – Authorities in Ohio are urging people to stay inside their homes while officers with assault rifles hunt for a “handful” of potentially dangerous exotic animals that escaped from a wild-animal preserve on Tuesday.Police have already shot and killed close to 30 of the 48 animals that escaped the eastern Ohio preserve, where the owner was found dead. Authorities are not yet saying how Muskingum County Animal Farm owner Terry Thompson died and have reportedly not ruled out suicide. Mike Dodd with the Muskingum County Sheriff’s Office told FoxNews.com early Wednesday that a small number of animals remained on the loose and he urged the public to “keep your eyes open.” He did not specify what kind of animals police were still searching for from the preserve in Zanesville, about 55 miles east of Columbus, housed lions, tigers, cheetahs, wolves, giraffes, camels and bears. Neighbor Danielle White, whose father’s property abuts the animal preserve, said she didn’t see loose animals this time but did in 2006, when a lion escaped.White, the preserve’s neighbor, said Thompson had been in legal trouble, and police said he had gotten out of jail recently. “He was in hot water because of the animals, because of permits, and (the animals) escaping all the time,” White said. A few weeks ago, she said, she had to avoid some camels that were grazing on the side of a freeway.

This guy’s neighbor is such a little cry baby. Oh boo, hoo, boo, hoo a lion escaped once and I could hear it howling all night. Camels were blocking my driveway. Now there are lions, tigers, cheetahs, wolves, giraffes, camels and bears in my backyard, wah, wah, wah.

Seriously though this is kind of a joke right? I mean I have no problem with people keeping wild animals in their house. But here is the thing. Once a lion escapes that’s it. Game over. You don’t get to just go wrangle him up, put him back in his playpen and be like “oops sorry about that.” Nope you got to be perfect. The first exotic animal that escapes means it’s shutdown time. Like how the fuck was he allowed to keep all these crazy ass pets when they kept escaping? Obviously it was going to turn into Jumanji at some point. I mean I can’t get a permit for a blackout party at Keene State, but this guy is allowed to have Africa in his backyard. Fucked up. PS – Getting eating by a lion or cheetah in Ohio isn’t the worst way to die of all time. Kind of cool