WWE has been hit by a tidal wave of lawsuits lately, some of which are more legitimate than others. This latest one definitely lies on the not-so-legitimate side of the scale.
According to Courthouse News Service, Troy Rivers, a security guard at a 2013 WWE house show, is suing the company because he was unexpectedly hit “about the head, neck and back” with a chair. The suit names Dean Ambrose, John Cena, Ryback, Roman Reigns, Seth Rollins, Kane, Daniel Bryan, Fandango, R-Truth, Cody Rhodes, Cesaro and Damien Sandow as defendants.
Why so many names? Were all their dirty, guilty hands on that deadly aluminum folding chair? No, Rivers just isn’t sure who hit him. He thinks it might have been Dean Ambrose, but until they know for sure, Rivers and his attorney are suing everybody on the card.
“We haven’t reviewed the video from the event yet, so we’re bringing in everyone on the card that night. Only one guy did it, but we don’t know which one yet.”
That…doesn’t seem like a thing that will hold up in court.
Rivers is claiming the chair shot inflicted, “serious, significant and permanent personal injuries, mental anguish, diminishment of his earning capacity and a loss of enjoyment of life.” Rivers’ wife, who’s also a plaintiff, is claiming the incident cost her “conjugal fellowship” with her husband. OK then.
Obviously there’s a lot wrong with this lawsuit. Not being able to name a defendant is a big one. Also, I have to imagine WWE security guards sign waivers about exactly this kind of thing. Ultimately, the real highlight is this guy claiming his dick stopped working because he got hit in the back with a chair. Hopefully the court requires him to provide proof of that one. If the schlong’s not unfit, you must acquit.
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