Friday, December 30, 2016
Thursday, December 29, 2016
Tuesday, December 27, 2016
Friday, December 23, 2016
Video Of Drunk Russian Dude Driving His Car All Through Kazan Airport
Video: serious #security incident at #Kazan #airport in #Russia, where a car drove through terminal building— Alex Kokcharov (@AlexKokcharov) December 23, 2016
pic.twitter.com/30sO5BOfyQ
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
Ernie Johnson’s Eulogy At Craig Sager’s Memorial Service Was Touching Stuff
Ernie Johnson honors his friend Craig Sager. #SagerStrong https://t.co/d157NyGNYk— NBA on TNT (@NBAonTNT) December 20, 2016
Monday, December 19, 2016
Sunday, December 18, 2016
Friday, December 16, 2016
RIP Craig Sager
Steve Kerr and Oracle Arena honor Craig Sager before the game #SagerStrong https://t.co/UmQqEtAaHH— NBA on TNT (@NBAonTNT) December 16, 2016
#Spurs coach Gregg Popovich was shaken up on the passing of Craig Sager. Didn't take any questions afterward. pic.twitter.com/cHvzH3R8vb— Gerald Bourguet (@GeraldBourguet) December 16, 2016
.@KGArea21 and the #InsidetheNBA crew share their favorite Sager fashion stories #SagerStrong https://t.co/HOBDLZI3nT— NBA on TNT (@NBAonTNT) December 16, 2016
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
Monday, December 12, 2016
Sunday, December 11, 2016
Watch The First Trailer For ESPN’s ‘This Was The XFL’ Documentary
Friday, December 9, 2016
Thursday, December 8, 2016
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
Grammy Nominations 2017
Record of the Year
“Hello” — Adele
“Formation” — Beyoncé
“7 Years” — Lukas Graham
“Work” — Rihanna ft. Drake
“Stressed Out” — Twenty One Pilots
Album of the Year
25 — Adele
Lemonade — Beyoncé
Purpose — Justin Bieber
Views — Drake
A Sailor’s Guide to Earth — Sturgill Simpson
Song of the Year
“Formation” — Beyoncé (Khalif Brown, Asheton Hogan, Beyoncé Knowles & Michael Williams II)
“Hello” — Adele (Adele Adkins & Greg Kurstin)
“I Took A Pill In Ibiza” — Mike Posner (Mike Posner)
“Love Yourself” — Justin Bieber (Justin Bieber, Benjamin Levin & Ed Sheeran)
“7 Years” — Lukas Graham (Lukas Forchammer, Stefan Forrest, Morten Pilegaard & Morten Ristorp)
Best New Artist
Kelsea Ballerini
The Chainsmokers
Chance the Rapper
Maren Morris
Anderson .Paak
Best Rap Album
Coloring Book - Chance the Rapper
And the Anonymous Nobody - De La Soul
Major Key - DJ Khaled
Views - Drake
Blank Face LP - ScHoolboy Q
The Life of Pablo - Kanye West
Best Rap/ Sung Performance
“Freedom” - Beyoncé ft. Kendrick Lamar
“Hotline Bling” - Drake
“Broccoli” - DRAM ft. Lil Yachty
“Ultralight Beam” - Kanye West ft. Chance the Rapper, Kelly Price, Kirk Franklin & The Dream
“Famous” - Kanye West ft. Rihanna
Best Rap Performance
“No Problem” — Chance The Rapper Featuring Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz
“Panda” —Desiigner
“Pop Style” — Drake Featuring The Throne
“All The Way Up” — Fat Joe & Remy Ma Featuring French Montana & Infared
“That Part” — ScHoolboy Q Featuring Kanye West
Best Rap Song
“All the Way Up” - Joseph Cartagena, Edward Davadi, Shandel Green, Karim Kharbouch, Andre Christopher Lyon, Reminisce Mackie & Marcello Valenzano, songwriters (Fat Joe & Remy Ma Featuring French Montana & Infared)
“Famous” - Chancelor Bennett, Ross Birchard, Ernest Brown, Andrew Dawson, Kasseem Dean, Mike Dean, Noah Goldstein, Kejuan Muchita, Patrick Reynolds, Kanye West & Cydel Young, songwriters (Kanye West Featuring Rihanna)
“Hotline Bling” - Aubrey Graham & Paul Jefferies, songwriters (Drake)
“No Problem” - Chancelor Bennett, Dwayne Carter & Tauheed Epps, songwriters (Chance The Rapper Featuring Lil Wayne & 2 Chainz)
“Ultralight Beam” - Chancelor Bennett, Kasseem Dean, Mike Dean, Kirk Franklin, Noah Goldstein, Samuel Griesemer, Terius Nash, Jerome Potter, Kelly Price, Nico “Donnie Trumpet” Segal, Derek Watkins, Kanye West & Cydel Young, songwriters (Kanye West Featuring Chance The Rapper, Kelly Price, Kirk Franklin & The-Dream)
Best Pop Duo/ Group Performance
“Closer” - The Chainsmokers ft. Halsey
“7 Years” - Lukas Graham
“Work” - Rihanna ft. Drake
“Cheap Thrills” - Sia ft. Sean Paul
“Stressed Out” - Twenty One Pilots
Best Alternative Music Album
22, A Million — Bon Iver
Blackstar — David Bowie
The Hope Six Demolition Project — PJ Harvey
Post Pop Depression — Iggy Pop
A Moon Shaped Pool — Radiohead
Best Rock Album
California — Blink-182
Tell Me I’m Pretty — Cage The Elephant
Magma — Gojira
Death Of A Bachelor — Panic! At The Disco
Weezer — Weezer
Best Rock Performance
“Joe (Live from Austin City Limits)” - Alabama Shakes
“Don’t Hurt Yourself” - Beyoncé ft. Jack White
“Blackstar” - David Bowie
“The Sound of Silence (Live on Conan) - Disturbed
“Heathens” - Twenty One Pilots”
Best Rock Song
“Blackstar” - David Bowie, songwriter (David Bowie)
“Burn the Witch” - Radiohead, songwriters (Radiohead)
“Hardwired” - James Hetfield & Lars Ulrich, songwriters (Metallica) “Heathens” - Tyler Joseph, songwriter (Twenty One Pilots)
“My Name is Human” - Rich Meyer, Ryan Meyer & Johnny Stevens, songwriters (Highly Suspect)
Best R&B Performance
“Turning’ Me Up” - BJ The Chicago Kid
“Permission” - Ro James
“I Do” - Musiq Soulchild
“Needed Me” - Rihanna
“Cranes in the Sky” - Solange”
Best R&B Song
“Come See Me” - J. Brathwaite, Aubrey Graham & Noah Shebib, songwriters (PartyNextDoor Featuring Drake)
“Exchange” - Michael Hernandez & Bryson Tiller, songwriters (Bryson Tiller)
“Kiss it Better” - Jeff Bhasker, Robyn Fenty, John-Nathan Glass & Teddy Sinclair, songwriters (Rihanna)
“Lake by the Ocean” - Hod David & Musze, songwriters (Maxwell)
“Luv” - Magnus August Høiberg, Benjamin Levin & Daystar Peterson, songwriters (Tory Lanez)
Best R&B Urban Contemporary Album
Lemonade — Beyoncé
Ology — Gallant
We Are King — KING
Malibu — Anderson .Paak
Anti — Rihanna
Best Country Album
Big Day in a Small Town - Brandy Clark
Full Circle - Loretta Lynn
Hero - Maren Morris
A Sailor’s Guide to Earth - Sturgill Simpson
Ripcord - Keith Urban
Best Country Duo/ Group Performance
“Different For Girls” - Dierks Bentley ft. Elle King
“21 Summer” - Brothers Osborne
“Setting the World on Fire” - Kenny Chesney & Pink
“Jolene” - Pentatonix ft. Dolly Parton
“Think of You” - Chris Young with Cassadee Pope
Best Country Song
“Blue Ain’t Your Color” - Clint Lagerberg, Hillary Lindsey & Steven Lee Olsen, songwriters (Keith Urban)
“Die A Happy Man” - Sean Douglas, Thomas Rhett & Joe Spargur, songwriters (Thomas Rhett)
“Humble and Kind” - Lori McKenna, songwriter (Tim McGraw)
“My Church” - busbee & Maren Morris, songwriters (Maren Morris)
“Vice” - Miranda Lambert, Shane McAnally & Josh Osborne, songwriters (Miranda Lambert)
Best Country Solo Performance
“Love Can Go To Hell” — Brandy Clark
“Vice” — Miranda Lambert
“My Church” — Maren Morris
“Church Bells” — Carrie Underwood
“Blue Ain’t Your Color” — Keith Urban
Best Pop Vocal Album
25 — Adele
Purpose — Justin Bieber
Dangerous Woman — Ariana Grande
Confident — Demi Lovato
This Is Acting — Sia
Best Pop Solo Performance
“Hello” - Adele
“Hold Up” - Beyoncé
“Love Yourself” - Justin Bieber
“Piece By Piece (Idol Version) - Kelly Clarkson
“Dangerous Woman” - Ariana Grande
Best Dance Electronic Album
Skin — Flume
Electronica 1: The Time Machine — Jean-Michel Jarre
Epoch — Tycho
Barbara Barbara, We Face A Shining Future — Underworld
Louie Vega Starring…XXVIII — Louie Vega
Best Traditional Pop Vocal Album
Cinema - Andrea Bocelli
Fallen Angels - Bob Dylan Stages Live - Josh Groban
Summertime: Willie Nelson Sings Gershwin - Willie Nelson
Encore: Movie Partners Sing Broadway - Barbra Streisand
Best Dance Recording
“Tearing Me Up” - Bob Moses
“Don’t Let Me Down” - The Chainsmokers ft. Daya
“Never Be Like You” - Flume ft. Kai
“Rinse & Repeat” - Riton ft. Kah-Lo
“Drinkee” - Sofi Tukker
Best Metal Performance “Shock Me” - Baroness
“Silvera” - Gojira
“Rotting in Vain” - Korn
“Dystopia” - Megadeath
“The Price is Wrong” - Periphery
Producer of the Year, Non-Classical
Benny Blanco
Greg Kurstin
Max Martin
Nineteen85
Ricky Reed
Best Compilation Soundtrack for Visual Media
Amy
Miles Ahead
Straight Outta Compton
Suicide Squad (Collector’s Edition)
Vinyl: The Essentials Season 1
Best Song Written for Visual Media
“Can’t Stop The Feeling!” — Max Martin, Shellback & Justin Timberlake, songwriters (Justin Timberlake, Anna Kendrick, Gwen Stefani, James Corden, Zooey Deschanel, Walt Dohrn, Ron Funches, Caroline Hjelt, Aino Jawo, Christopher Mintz-Plasse & Kunal Nayyar), Track from: Trolls
“Heathens” — Tyler Joseph, songwriter (Twenty One Pilots), Track from: Suicide Squad
“Just Like Fire” — Oscar Holter, Max Martin, P!nk & Shellback, songwriters (P!nk), Track from: Alice Through The Looking Glass
“Purple Lamborghini” — Shamann Cooke, Sonny Moore & William Roberts, songwriters (Skrillex & Rick Ross), Track from: Suicide Squad
“Try Everything” — Mikkel S. Eriksen, Sia Furler & Tor Erik Hermansen, songwriters (Shakira), Track from: Zootopia
“The Veil” — Peter Gabriel, songwriter (Peter Gabriel), Track from: Snowden
Best Score Soundtrack for Visual Media
Bridge of Spies
Quentin Tarantino’s The Hateful Eight
The Revenant
Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Stranger Things Volume 1
Stranger Things Volume 2
Best Music Video
“Formation” — Beyoncé
“River” — Leon Bridges
“Up & Up” — Coldplay
“Gosh” — Jamie XX
“Upside Down & Inside Out” — OK Go
Best Music Film
I’ll Sleep When I’m Dead (Steve Aoki)
The Beatle: Eight Days A Week The Touring Years (The Beatles)
Lemonade (Beyoncé)
The Music of Strangers (Yo-Yo Ma & The Silk Road Ensemble)
American Saturday Night: Live from the Grand Ole Opry (Various Artists)
Best Spoken Word Album (Includes Poetry, Audio Books & Storytelling)
The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo - Amy Schumer
In Such Good Company: Eleven Years Of Laughter, Mayhem, And Fun In The Sandbox - Carol Burnett
M Train - Patti Smith
Under The Big Black Sun: A Personal History Of L.A. Punk (John Doe With Tom Desavia) (Various Artists) - Tom DeSavia, John Doe, Scott Sherratt & Dan Zitt, producers
Unfaithful Music & Disappearing Ink - Elvis Costello
Best Comedy Album
…America…Great… - David Cross
American Myth - Margaret Cho
Boyish Girl Interrupted - Tig Notaro
Live at the Apollo - Amy Schumer
Talking for Clapping - Patton Oswalt
Best Musical Theater Album
Bright Star
The Color Purple
Fiddler On the Roof Kinky Boots
Waitress
Best Gospel Performance/Song
“It’s Alright, It’s OK” — Shirley Caesar Featuring Anthony Hamilton; Stanley Brown & Courtney Rumble, songwriters
“You’re Bigger [Live]” — Jekalyn Carr; Allundria Carr, songwriter
“Made A Way [Live]” — Travis Greene; Travis Greene, songwriter
“God Provides” — Tamela Mann; Kirk Franklin, songwriter
“Better” — Hezekiah Walker; Jason Clayborn, Gabriel Hatcher & Hezekiah Walker, songwriters
Best Contemporary Christian Music Performance/Song
“Trust In You” — Lauren Daigle; Lauren Daigle, Michael Farren & Paul Mabury, songwriters
“Priceless” — For King & Country; Benjamin Backus, Seth Mosley, Joel Smallbone, Luke Smallbone & Tedd Tjornhom, songwriters
“King of the World” — Natalie Grant; Natalie Grant, Becca Mizell & Samuel Mizell, songwriters
“Thy Will” — Hillary Scott & The Scott Family; Bernie Herms, Hillary Scott & Emily Weisband, songwriters Track from: Love Remains
“Chain Breaker” — Zach Williams; Mia Fieldes, Jonathan Smith & Zach Williams, songwriters
Best Gospel Album
Listen —Tim Bowman Jr.
Fill This House — Shirley Caesar
A Worshipper’s Heart [Live] —Todd Dulaney
Losing My Religion — Kirk Franklin
Demonstrate [Live] —William Murphy
Best Contemporary Christian Music Album
Poets & Saints — All Sons & Daughters
American Prodigal — Crowder
Be One — Natalie Grant
Youth Revival [Live] — Hillsong Young & Free
Love Remains — Hillary Scott & The Scott Family
Best Roots Gospel Album
Better Together — Gaither Vocal Band
Nature’s Symphony In 432 — The Isaacs
Hymns — Joey+Rory
Hymns And Songs Of Inspiration — Gordon Mote
God Don’t Ever Change: The Songs Of Blind Willie Johnson — (Various Artists)
Best Latin Pop Album
Un Besito Mas — Jesse & Joy
Ilusión — Gaby Moreno
Similares — Laura Pausini
Seguir Latiendo — Sanalejo
Buena Vida — Diego Torres
Best Latin Rock, Urban or Alternative Album
iLevitable — ile
L.H.O.N. (La Humanidad O Nosotros) — Illya Kuryaki & The Valderamas
Buenaventura — La Santa Cecilia
Los Rakas — Los Rakas
Amor Supremo — Carla Morrison
Best Regional Mexican Music Album (Including Tejano)
RaÃces — Banda El Recodo De Cruz Lizárraga
Hecho A Mano — Joss Favela
Un Azteca En El Azteca, Vol. 1 (En Vivo) — Vicente Fernández
Generación Maquinaria Est. 2006 — La Maquinaria Norteña
Tributo A Joan Sebastian Y Rigoberto Alfaro — Mariachi Divas De Cindy Shea
Best Tropical Latin Album
Conexión — Fonseca
La Fantasia Homenaje A Juan Formell — Formell Y Los Van Van
35 Aniversario — Grupo Niche
La Sonora Santanera En Su 60 Aniversario — La Sonora Santanera
Donde Están? — Jose Lugo & Guasábara Combo
Best American Roots Performance
“Ain’t No Man” — The Avett Brothers
“Mother’s Children Have A Hard Time” — Blind Boys Of Alabama
“Factory Girl” — Rhiannon Giddens
“House Of Mercy” — Sarah Jarosz
“Wreck You” — Lori McKenna
Best American Roots Song
“Alabama At Night” — Robbie Fulks, songwriter (Robbie Fulks)
“City Lights” — Jack White, songwriter (Jack White)
“Gulfstream” — Eric Adcock & Roddie Romero, songwriters (Roddie Romero And The Hub City All-Stars)
“Kid Sister” — Vince Gill, songwriter (The Time Jumpers)
“Wreck You” — Lori McKenna & Felix McTeigue, songwriters (Lori McKenna)
Best Americana Album
True Sadness — The Avett Brothers
This Is Where I Live — William Bell
The Cedar Creek Sessions — Kris Kristofferson
The Bird & The Rifle — Lori McKenna
Kid Sister — The Time Jumper
Best Bluegrass Album
Original Traditional — Blue Highway
Burden Bearer — Doyle Lawson & Quicksilver
The Hazel Sessions — Laurie Lewis & The Right Hands
North And South — Claire Lynch
Coming Home — O’Connor Band With Mark O’Connor
Best Traditional Blues Album
Can’t Shake The Feeling — Lurrie Bell
Live At The Greek Theatre — Joe Bonamassa
Blues & Ballads (A Folksinger’s Songbook: Volumes I & II) — Luther Dickinson
The Soul of Jimmie Rodgers — Vasti Jackson
Porcupine Meat — Bobby Rush
Best Contemporary Blues Album
The Last Days Of Oakland — Fantastic Negrito
Love Wins Again — Janiva Magness
Bloodline — Kenny Neal
Give It Back To You — The Record Company
Everybody Wants A Piece — Joe Louis Walker
Folk Album
Silver Skies Blue — Judy Collins & Ari Hest
Upland Stories — Robbie Fulks
Factory Girl — Rhiannon Giddens
Weighted Mind — Sierra Hull
Undercurrent — Sarah Jarosz
Best Regional Roots Music Album
Broken Promised Land — Barry Jean Ancelet & Sam Broussard
It’s A Cree Thing — Northern Cree
E Walea — Kalani Pe’a
Gulfstream — Roddie Romero And The Hub City All-Stars
I Wanna Sing Right: Rediscovering Lomax In The Evangeline Country — (Various Artists)
Best Reggae Album
Sly & Robbie Presents… Reggae For Her – Devin Di Dakta & J.L
Rose Petals — J Boog
Ziggy Marley — Ziggy Marley
Everlasting — Raging Fyah
Falling Into Place — Rebelution
Soja: Live In Virginia — Soja
Best World Music Album
Destiny — Celtic Woman
Walking In The Footsteps Of Our Fathers — Ladysmith Black Mambazo
Sing Me Home — Yo-Yo Ma & The Silk Road Ensemble
Land Of Gold — Anoushka Shankar
Dois Amigos, Um Século De Música: Multishow Live — Caetano Veloso & Gilberto Gil
Best Children’s Album
Explorer Of The World — Frances England
Infinity Plus One — Secret Agent 23 Skidoo
Novelties — Recess Monkey
Press Play — Brady Rymer And The Little Band That Could
Saddle Up — The Okee Dokee Brothers
Tuesday, December 6, 2016
Mom Texts Son A Video Of Her Rapping “Funkdafied” By Da Brat And Tells Him That’s Real Rap
Lmaooo moms sent me this & said "21 savage who?? this real rap . " 😂😂 pic.twitter.com/gWmnd1vvnX— j cook (@CookJustice) December 3, 2016
Sunday, December 4, 2016
Saturday, December 3, 2016
WALE RESPONDS TO J. COLE ON "GROUNDHOG DAY"
I got a homie, he a rapper and he wanna win bad
He want the fame, the acclaim, the respect that's been had
By all the legends, so every time I see him, he stressin'
Talkin' 'bout, niggas don't fuck with him, the shit is depressin'
And I know he so bitter he can't see his own blessings
Goddamn, nigga, you too blind to see you got fans, nigga
And a platform to make a classic rap song
To change a nigga's life, but you too anxious livin' life
Tell them niggas 'Shine' coming they in trouble though
I love my brother though
That's why it's rest in peace to Tommy we still bumping Cole
UPDATE: No love lost. Hours after "Groundhog Day" was released, Wale attended a basketball game alongside J. Cole.
"See you at the game, Bro" pic.twitter.com/jgzxQ85uA5— Wale (@Wale) December 3, 2016
J. Cole Appears To Diss Kanye West On New Song "False Prophets"
J Cole just took some shots at Kanye 👀pic.twitter.com/77Fjk6MvUg— 👀 (@NathanGawd) December 2, 2016
"Life is a balance/You lose your grip you could slip into an abyss/No doubt, you see these n!ggas trippin’/Ego in charge of every move, he’s a star/ And we can’t look away due to the days when he caught our hearts/He’s falling apart but we deny it/ Justifying the half-a$$ed sh!t he drop, we always buy it.
When he tell us he a genius but it’s clearer lately/ It’s been hard for him to look into the mirror lately/There was a time when this n!gga was my hero maybe/That’s the reason why his fall from grace is hard to take/’Cause I believed him when he said his sh!t was purer and he the type of n!gga swear he real but all around is fake.
The women, the d!ckriders, you know, the yes men/ Nobody with the balls to say something to contest him/So it grows out of control/ Until the person that he truly was all along is starting to show.
Damn, wonder what happened/ Maybe it's my fault for idolizing n!ggas based of the words they be rapping/ Come to find out these n!ggas don't even write they sh!t/ Hear some new style bubbling up and they bite the sh!t/ Damn, that's what I get for lying to myself/ F*ck it, what's more important is he's crying out for help/ While the world's egging him on I'm begging him to stop it/ Playing his old sh!t knowing he won't top it.
Sunday, November 27, 2016
Saturday, November 26, 2016
Sunday, November 20, 2016
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
Tuesday, November 15, 2016
Monday, November 14, 2016
Sunday, November 13, 2016
Saturday, November 12, 2016
Friday, November 11, 2016
Thursday, November 10, 2016
Wednesday, November 9, 2016
Tuesday, November 8, 2016
Monday, November 7, 2016
Sunday, November 6, 2016
Saturday, November 5, 2016
NAS, THE ROOTS, CHANCE THE RAPPER & MORE APPEAR ON 'THE HAMILTON MIXTAPE' TRACKLIST
Check out the full tracklist below.
The Roots - "No John Trumbull (Intro)"
The Roots - "My Shot (Remix)" f. Busta Rhymes, Joell Ortiz & Nate Ruess
Nas, Dave East, Lin-Manuel Miranda & Aloe Blacc - "Wrote My Way Out"
Usher - "Wait For It"
Watsky - "An Open Letter" f. Shockwave
Sia - "Satisfied" f. Miguel & Queen Latifah
Regina Spektor - "Dear Theodosia" f. Ben Folds
Lin-Manuel Miranda - "Valley Forge (Demo)"
Kelly Clarkson - "It’s Quiet Uptown"
Alicia Keys - "That Would Be Enough"
K'naan, Snow Tha Product, Riz MC & Residente - "Immigrants (We Get The Job Done)"
Jimmy Fallon & The Roots - "You’ll Be Back"
Ashanti - "Helpless" f. Ja Rule
!llmind - "Take A Break (Interlude)"
Jill Scott - "Say Yes To This"
Dessa - "Congratulations"
Audra Day - "Burn"
J.PERIOD & Stro Elliot - "Stay Alive (Interlude)"
Lin-Manuel Miranda - "Slavery Battle (Demo)"
Wiz Khalifa - "Washingtons By Your Side"
John Legend - "History Has Its Eyes On You"
The Roots - "Who Tells Your Story" f. Common & Ingrid Michaelson
Chance the Rapper & Francis and the Lights - "Dear Theodosia (Reprise)"
It Will Release On December 1, 2016
Friday, November 4, 2016
Wednesday, November 2, 2016
Tuesday, November 1, 2016
Friday, October 28, 2016
Sunday, October 23, 2016
Saturday, October 22, 2016
Wednesday, October 19, 2016
Eminem Announces New Album. Releases New Song 'Campaign Speech'
Don't worry I'm working on an album! Here's something meanwhile. https://t.co/QX3cdpqFD2— Marshall Mathers (@Eminem) October 19, 2016
Jumped out of the 2nd floor of a record store
With a Treacherous Four cassette and a cassette recorder
In Ecuador with Edward Norton
Witness the metamorphosis
Of a legend growin' like an expert swordsman
From the Hessian war and
Hence the origin of the Headless Horseman
Born with the endorphins of a pathetic orphan
Endless source and reservoir
Of extension cords in dresser drawers
And deadbolts on the bedroom doors
And sexual torture kits kept in a separate storage bin
Excellent boyfriend
Use intercourse to settle scores
With women who have been vendettas towards men
Dickhead is forced in 'til there's shredded foreskin
Reddish torn and they're only bein' fed a portion
Bed sores and sore shins
Pregnant whores can get abortions
Fetish for stickin' metal forks in, self-absorption
Skeletor, I went to Hell and fell a floor
A predator, I'm headed for competitors
Better warn 'em, what I lack in tact and a set of morals
I make up for in metaphors like a cosmetic store
Stegosaurus, Chuck Norris with a thesaurus
Yes, of course, a mess of warrants
You want some? Come and get some, boys!
I'm givin' Daniel Pantaleo a refresher course
On excessive force and pressure points
And dressin' George Zimmerman in a fluorescent orange
Dress and four inch heels to address the court
With a bullseye on his back, his whole chest and torso
Or left on the doorsteps of Trayvon's dad as a present for him
In my present form I'm Desert Storm
Appetite for destruction there's no suppressant for
Aggressive, forceful, and less remorseful in every morsel
Unpleasant, horrible; hello, gorgeous!
The rebel with devil horns just fell off the yellow short bus
Met a contortionist, said, "When you wanna get sexual?"
She said, "However I fit in your schedule. I'm flexible."
Expired tags on the Saturn, got Catherine Bach
In the back in Daisy Dukes with the hazards on
At a traffic stop gettin' harassed, sign an autograph
For this asshole cop's daughter
Laugh 'cause I called her a brat on it
He spat on it and brought it back lookin' half in shock
Had a heart attack and dropped dead
Started fallin' back with it
And got slapped with a Colin Kaepernick practice sock
One ball and half a dick, Apple Watch
Crack front axle, walked in a Bass Pro Shop with David Hasselhoff, pulled Tabasco sauce out of my satchel
Knocked over a fisherman's tackle box and *crash sound*
Asked if they had a laughin' stock
That was fuckin' stupid…
You got it twisted, all 'cause I offered this bitch
A doggie biscuit, you call me misogynistic
Bitch, get to massagin' this dick!
Like spas in this bitch, slob on it with gobs of lipstick
Got a shoppin' list for you to run some odds and ends with
It's not a bitch on this earth I can be monogamous with
She's non-existent
Robin Thicke with a throbbin' dick on some suave and slick shit
But I shout derogatives at bitches like fuckin' missile launches
Misfit, blond and nitwit
Like I've gone ballistic, with a frostin' tip kit
Screamed, "I hate blondes," and became one, I'm optimistic
Love to start shit
Shovin' Clark Kent's undergarments in the glove compartment
Of the bucket, bumpin' Bubba Sparxxx
I'm double parkin' up at Targets, trouble 'causer, a double crosser
Shadiest mothafucka you'll ever come across
Olympic gymnast, been known for some assaults
A couple lawsuits, enough to cause a stomach ulcer
Same damn brain scan results as Rainman's is
Something's off, but when Dustin Hoffman's
Dressin' up in your mummy costume
On stage dancin' to "Brain Damage," what's the problem?
Nothing's wrong, the name brand is back to reclaim status
Run the faucet, I'ma dunk
A bunch of Trump supporters underwater
Snuck up on 'em in Ray Bans in a gray van with a spray tan
It's a wrap, like an Ace bandage
Don't-give-a-fuck persona, to my last DNA strand
E&J in the waistband, at the VMAs with the stagehand
She wants kielbasa, pre-arrange an escape plan
Three-inch blade on point, like a See-and-Say
Consider me a dangerous man
But you should be afraid of this dang candidate
You say Trump don't kiss ass like a puppet
'Cause he runs his campaign with his own cash for the fundin'
And that's what you wanted
A fuckin' loose cannon who's blunt with his hand on the button
Who doesn't have to answer to no one—great idea!
If I was president
Gettin' off is the first order of business
Once I get in office
Second thing that'll make me happy's walkin' up to Uncle Sam
Naked, laughin', dick cupped in hand
Screamin', "Fuck safe sex!"
Throw a latex and an AIDS test at him
Tell Congress I run this land
And I want the rubber banned, and make it snappy
Addiction to friction and static
Addict who can't escape the habit
Continue to chase the dragon
But as fate would have it, I walked up in major Magics
Dressed as the maintenance man
In a laser tag vest and a racin' jacket
With a gauge to blast it
And sped away in the station wagon
Stacey Dash's and Casey Anthony's
Crazy asses in the backseat
Throwin' Stayfree pads at me
Dead passenger in the passenger seat
Unfasten the safety latches
And slam on the brakes in traffic so hard
I snapped the relocation brackets for the monster tires
'Finna get a murder case and catch it
Like you threw it at me encased in plastic
And send Dylan Roof through the windshield of the Benz
Until he spins like a pinwheel and begins feelin'...
Like a windmiller with a thin build while his skin's peelin'
And skids 'til he hits a cement pillar
Swing for the fence like Prince Fielder
Knock it into the upper peninsula
You wanna go against 'zilla? The Rap God
When will I quit? Never been realer
The in-stiller of fear, not even a scintilla of doubt
Whose pens iller than Prince in a chinchilla
Or Ben Stiller in a suspense thriller
Revenge killer, avenge syllable binge
Fill a syringe, 'til I
Draw first blood
Even pop shit on my pop shit, and it's popular
Couldn't be more awkwarder
Cause you're innocence I robbed you of
It's my fingers that got stuck up
Taught ya ta, not give a
Slapstick, hockey puck
The broad hunter with the sawed off
Like an arm when it's lopped off of ya
But I'm not gonna, get the shotgun
Or the Glock, I'm gonna opt for the ox
Cause I'm into objects that are sharp when I shop
And it's not a shock, I'm such an obnoxious fucker
The Rock Hudson of rock 'cause who would have thought
This much of a cocksucker to go across the buttocks of Vivica Fox with a box cutter
That was for 50, little slap on the wrist be warned
I'm unrevealin' quickly
My squabbles, I'm grappling with your time traveling with me
Try and follow, as I wobble, relapse into history, with a flask of the whiskey
Tip it back then I'm twisting wine bottles
Like what happened to Chris Reeves' spine column
That's the plan of attack when I'm fixing my problems
Wish my chest wasn't having to get these rhymes off 'em
But the fact that I have so many rappers against me mind boggles
And why I haven't come back on these faggots who diss me is
More of a spectacular mystery than a fucking Agatha Christie crime novel
But my patience is wearing thin
Swear I been contemplatin' rubbing shit in your face 'til I smear it in
Diss you in every lyric until you fear the pen
And never appear again
If you actually had fuckin' careers to end
But then I think of Molly Qerim and I steer 'em in that direction and forget my ideas for them
Molly, I'm gone off you
Man, light some kush
You're my first take, I'll nail you
Can't lie, I gush
If I won you over, you would be the grand prize
I'm entranced by your looks, come and give the Shady franchise a push
You can get it in the can like some Anheuser Busch
Jeans too small, least three pant sizes tush
Mushed against your damn side, your puss
And thighs are squished
What kind of attires that?
I'm ready to be rode
Psychopath, bet you we'll get it poppin' like a flat
Light the match to ignite the wrath
Got knives to slash and slice hermaphrodites in half
Piper Chapmans might just have to picket me
Like a scab
Hard to describe in fact
Startling violent perhaps
Are things that come to mind as soon as I start spitting rhymes like that
And you aren't really surprised at that
But as far as these lines I rap
And these bars, wouldn't dial it back if I star 69ed the track
Why am I such a dick?